‘You cannot keep everyone happy, so focus on making yourself happy’
Man is indeed a social animal and this society is fucking squeezing the peace & happiness out of our lives. There is always this dreadful feeling of lagging behind because we see people on social media or at work or our friends travelling the world, dining at the best places and living their best lives and we think – are we actually doing something right in life.
Anxiety, stress, overthinking and the constant feeling of missing out or not doing enough- I feel all these emotions stem from the desire to please the world and the people in it.
We fail – we fear what people will think.
We do not attend a party or a social gathering- we feel that we have missed out on something oh so important.
Someone says something nasty or does something wrong to us – we start overthinking and creating god knows what not scenarios in our head.
We keep saying yes every time because how can we offend anybody in this whole damn world.
The peace in our hearts and minds is replaced by comparison, inferiority complex, jealousy & the unhealthy urge to please people.
So my idea of attaining inner peace in this world is – no not meditation. Meditation can only help you put your thoughts together and in the right direction. However, in a world which is obsessed with social media & others’ opinions, inner peace can only be achieved
- if you learn to say NO.
- If you become a little selfish
- If you do what you really want to do and not just blindly follow others
- If you learn to enjoy your own company
- If you expect nothing from no-one
If You Learn To Say NO
Well, this is the best gift you can give to yourself. I think NO is the most powerful word in the world. It can make way for only the things that really matter to you.
If someone gives you something to do after your working hours, politely and firmly say no. Nothing should come in the way of your personal time.
You do not want to go to that party even if you have the time, NO is the word for you.
Trust me this two letter word will make your life easier than ever. Life is too short to do things that you do not want to do. I have learnt it the hard way, but it is worth it!
If You Become A Little Selfish
Make yourself a priority. Period!
Yes, you have family and you have responsibilities and obligations, but, it should not come at the cost of ignoring yourself and your needs.
No one else understands you and your needs better than yourself. So, do not be guilty about making your health, your wants, your desires & your goals a priority.
As Ayn Rand famously said, “ To say ‘I Love You’ one must know first how to say the ‘I’.”
So, put yourself first; the world can wait. And, how do you do that? Well I would say it again, NO is the word!
If You Do Not Just Blindly Follow Others
We want everyone to like us. So, others’ approval and their opinions have become the fuel nowadays to keep us going. Whatever we set out to do, somewhere in the back of our mind is one thought- what are people going to think. Playing it safe and doing whatever it takes to fit in has become the new MO for most.
It is good to keep up with others, however, we somehow forget who we really are and what we actually want from life in doing so. Be social, make friends, follow the trends, but not in exchange of your own individuality & real personality.
Whatever you do, however hard you try, not everyone is going to like you and it is okay. Make your peace with that & focus on being yourself, honing your skills and adding value to your life.
If You Learn To Enjoy Your Company
Happiness is one of the most important ingredients to achieve inner peace. Both the emotions are intertwined with each other. And, if your happiness depends on others, so would be your peace of mind and that spells trouble.
It could be difficult, but one must learn to be happy being by themselves. Have some hobbies, take yourself out for a meal or movies, read books, travel alone- simply put, be your own best-friend. Start giving yourself some me-time & you will see the difference it makes in your thoughts, perspective and overall way of living your life.
If You Expect Nothing From No-One
Expectations hurt- we all know that. Still, we expect things from people we love as this is our natural human instinct or emotion.
I know that not expecting anything from anyone is easier said than done. But, there is no harm in taking baby steps towards adopting this attitude. If someone hurts your expectations, do not brood over it for days. Take it as a lesson learnt, brush it aside and move forward in life. It is probably the best thing you can do to attain inner peace.
Sometimes letting go means saving yourself and believe me it takes a lot of courage, but it is the only way to be happy in your own space and live your life at your own pace.
Is there anything else you want to add to this list? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section!